"i'm so happy i'd cry" i get the feeling
it's when you just can't seem to stop crying because you don't deserve happiness
you have good friends, your own things, fun plans, a loving parent, and you eat properly
you have it all, but you just don't deserve it
you smile too much, even when you shouldn't, even when you don't feel it and still kinda do
but...
i think the right term is
"i'm so sad i'd smile"
because you deserve to be miserable
~🌻
