🗒 ... Dunia yang awalnya gaduh, tiba-tiba hening. Ia berkata " Beri aku kesempatan, kesempatan untuk membantumu bangkit, bukan karena iba tapi karena peduli, bukan karena kasihan, tapi karena sayang. Menemani hari-harimu bukan karena takut kau kenapa-kenapa. Tapi takut aku yang kenapa-kenapa tanpamu "
🗒 ...Terima kasih kepada semesta yang telah melahirkan sosok yang begitu indah untuk ditemui. Semesta dengan berbagai rencananya, mempertemukan kita sekarang. Entah reaksi energi apa yang sedang terjadi tapi aku sangat mencintaimu. Maaf ya kamu harus bertemu sosok yang situasinya belum baik. Semoga yang tumbuh dengan sederhana, akan mekar dengan sangat meriah.
I am sorry. I'm sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others, when your own hands were shaking. I'm sorry that I didn't give you enough time to heal, that I let you seal the wounds of everyone else whilst your own were bleeding. I'm sorry that there were days when smiling hurt but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you. I'm sorry that you gave all of your time and effort to people that didn't give the same amount back. I'm sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why. And I am so sorry that I did not love you, like you deserved to be loved.
From now on, I will love you the best. I'll take care of you, I'm not gonna let you down. So please be happy, enjoy your life and be yourself.
When everything feels so messy, loud or even a feeling that I can't explain, no matter how much I wanted to open up to someone or to call someone instead I'll push people away-asolating myself, pretending that everything is okay but the voices inside my head were loud. loud enough for me to wish everything would end, to stop the whatever the pain I am feeling.
I wasn't strong as people view me. I wasn't the strong independent person they knew. I wasn't the full of life person they always see-its a mere facade, for me to hide, for no one to notice I am in great pain and sorrow because the present me thinks that it will burden the people around me.
The present me thinks that the negative energy will transfer to the people around me, that they have problems too to deal with and having another problem-which is me, will only make them suffer more.
So, in the end, I will just sit in my room-lights off and a full volume music, trying to hide the silent cries. all alone.
This is a letter from someone who loves you the most, someone who adores you so much, someone who will always stay by your side forever. I would like to apologize for everything.
I started to notice I no longer know myself. I used to be happy-genuinely happy, an easy book to read and an open-person but what happened now?
